Are you less than successful at online dating? Chances are you’re not a fundamentally broken person, destined for a life of lonely misery. You’re probably just not very good at dating. This is good and bad news. On the one hand, it’s good to know that this is a skill you can learn. On the other hand, you also know you’ve got some work ahead of you. Let’s get right into it. 10 ways to be a better date.
10 Ways to Be a Better Date
1) Be Interesting.
If you date enough, you’ll meet all kinds of people. People who date well know how to talk to them. Learn about things that interest others, be it pop culture, history, science, travel. The things you learn will make you more interesting and fun to date. Remember, interesting people are interested. If you don’t know anything about something your date is into, have them TELL you all about it.
2) Be Thoughtful.
If you’re on a first date, don’t assume that your date loves pit beef and whiskey. If you’re the one setting up the itinerary, think of fun things to do that almost anyone would enjoy. As you get to know your date, you can start to specialize. At first, keep things general.
3) Don’t Be Needy.
Even if you’re interested in a long term relationship, you don’t want to ooze neediness in the early stages of dating. Lots of people like casual dating. You don’t want to be giving off the “I want to grow old and die with you” vibe if the feeling is not necessarily reciprocated.
4) Don’t Be Aloof.
Keeping it casual is well and good, but remaining emotionally distant is not. Even if you’re not ready to move in together, your date can tell if you’re not being emotionally accessible. If you’re not in a place to be somewhat open and honest, don’t date for awhile. Sure, there are plenty of ways to overdo this, but don’t date with a Poker Face either.
5) Don’t Be a Jerk.
It’s important not to assume things about people you don’t know well. Try not to drone on about political views, religious assertions, or any other deeply held belief that might not be agreeable to someone you’re getting to know. Be honest. Don’t be pushy or preachy.
6) Be an Adult.
You know what’s sexy? Not being a child in an adult’s body. Be employed. Pay your bills. Have a house that’s not replete with filth. You don’t have to have every single duck in a row, but don’t be a human wasteland either.
7) Be Independent.
People who get instantly attached to someone they’re dating can come across as….scary. It’s important to find that sweet spot between Emotionally Distant and Someone Who Gloms.
8) Have a Plan.
It’s important to know how to handle various situations in a dating relationship. What if things go really well on a first date and you both obviously like each other a lot? What if the date is awkward and clearly going nowhere? There are gracious ways to handle every situation. By having a plan while still being able to improvise, you can make situations far less awkward, or much more exciting.
9) Ask Questions.
Don’t know what to say? Get the other person talking. A great life skill to have is the ability to make other people comfortable. A comfortable person feels able to talk. If you can get someone chatting happily about things that interest them, you’re doing great, Tiger.
10) Be Smooth.
When it comes to affection and sex, know what you’re doing. Don’t get too excited. Be sensual and gentle, without coming across like you don’t have a spine. Reading the other person’s interest level and sense of pace is a skill worth having. Finding your groove in these moments can get you another date or ensure that you’ll never see this person again.